Lord, when I come to you, I still find that I bring a little guilt, and doubt, and even fear to the conversation.
Yes, I know.
And I’m still seeking validation – like, “Am I ok? Do you still love me?”
And that’s kind of ok, but it’s so unnecessary. I’m still waiting for you to grow out of that and realize your perfect state. But I know it’s hard, so it’s ok.
But, it makes me wonder, if I weren’t coming to you for validation, or reassurance, would we really even have anything to talk about?
LOL! Really? What kind of question is that?
I know – it seems kind of silly, but – well, I do get to just say what’s on my mind with you – kind of stream of consciousness, because I know it’s ok…right?
Yeah, that’s right. Keep going.
And you’re really the only person in the whole universe that I can trust completely, I mean – my wife is close, and soooo precious, but you’re even beyond that. You know me even better than she does.
You’re getting warm.
And I guess we all just need a friend like that – kind of a super friend – don’t we. So, even if I’m just completely comfortably in my skin, and have absolutely no guilt or doubt or fear swirling around in my mind, and have no need for reassurance, it would be really lonely if I didn’t have any friends.
And, I guess, even if I were…like, a God, who had descended below all things, and fulfilled the measure of my creation, and ascended beyond the bounds of time, and space, and form, and knew the end from the beginning, and could commune with hundreds, or thousands of people all at the same times, with complete intimacy and perfection of understanding and compassion and empathy; even if I were all that, I’d still need friends, huh. At least one!
Yep, that’s right.
So, no matter how cool or perfect I get to be, and even if I’m somehow able to transcend all this guilt, and doubt, and fear, and judgment – the things that bind me to this fallen state, and even if I don’t need reassurance any more – we still need each other, right? And we would still find joy in each other’s communion – even peace and growth. Right?
Yes, my son…my friend.
Guess I kind of just answered my own question, huh?
I guess you did. And you got it right.
There’s really important truth in this conversation, isn’t there, Lord?
Yes, there is. And, if I may say, my feelings would be kind of hurt if you went away. Actually, they would be hurt a lot. I like you. You’re a good person, and I feel like I can trust you, mostly because you trust me! And we talk – intimately. And even perfect love gets really lonely if I’m the only one who gets it, and you’re really starting to get it. Oh – and that swelling in your heart right now…I feel it, too. In case you missed it – that’s called joy. And it’s called love, and it’s what it’s all about.
And this has been a pleasure. Talk to you tomorrow, huh?
Thanks, Lord. Yes – I’ll talk to you tomorrow!